Balancing Act

I read this blog a couple of weeks ago, and it resonated sooo loudly in my soul, and I wanted to blog about it, but funny enough (you'll understand why it's amusing when you read the blog) I haven't been able to find the time. So now, I have a moment or two, now I try to put it into words.

But first, go read THIS

It's a theme that many of my friends, and other blogs I read (like the Pioneer Woman) have also blogged about recently, something I think every mother goes through.

Balance. Scaling down. Simplicity. Being present in the moment. Taking the time, HAVING the time to enjoy the everyday moments with your family.

It's a tough job. In a world full of chaos, and endless technology, and endless activities, and full time jobs and part-time jobs, and everything else that is juggled on a day to day basis, how do you balance it all?

This passage from the blog stuck with me the most ( I KNOW you went and read it, right?! Because I told you to go do it......) :)

"We have the power to decide what kind of mother we want to be to our children. How will your children remember you when they are older? What kind of mother do you want to be described as one day? I know, it's a question that sends a little fear into the heart of all of us. Will they say I was too stressed, too busy, impatient and angry? Will they say I seemed to spend time on everything else but them? Will they say, "I needed you then, but you were never really listening?"

Ouch. I am defintely that mother sometimes, the too stressed, too busy, too impatient mother. And that is not what I want to be, and I am the only one with the power to change it, so it has to be a concious effort. I have such a hard time being present in the moment, I always have this mental to do list running through my head, cruching the numbers on the time clock figuring out what needs to be done next. Sometimes I only half listen to my kids, and then I wonder why they never want to sit and chit-chat.

"Children are a blessing, not a burden" My mantra as of late. A way to remind myself, when I am feeling burdened by the gianourmous amount of endless work that my children make for me on a daily basis, I breath and remind myself, they are my blessings. And just that simple reminder, changes my whole attitude. Because I do feel blessed to have them, even if I do have to remind myself of that several times a day.... :)

And what do you say no to in order to scale back? It's hard. Right now we have Bourbon's group therapy on Monday nights, and then the boys have their individual therapy on Wed. nights and then church, and then Starla has dance on thursday nights. The boys both are in choir, and occasionally have concerts. And Bourbon is in band. What gets cut out? How do you make that decision? Sorry kids, I know that you should be involved in some kind of activity that you are passionate about, that this helps you in so many ways academically, socially, mentally....but sorry, it's too much? To me that is saying they aren't worth it, they aren't worth juggling for so that they can do something like band or choir or dance. Now if your kid is in 15 different things, then it's easy, but what if each kid only has 1? And does Church "count" as an "activity"? Isn't it just Church?

I find myself so overwhelmed with everything that I need to get done every day. I have to just say to myself, "you know what? If the dishes don't get done tonight, it's OK. They will still be there tomorrow. Spend that extra 20 minutes reading to Starla, or hanging out with the boys, or playing a game, or something. The kids will be grown and gone before you know it, the housework will always be here." but of course there's only so much that can be put aside before the whole house is falling apart, lol. Which mine seems to be. And it's really hard to take care of a family of 5, and get all the laundry done, and the dishes done, and the house picked up, and the meals made, and everything else that needs to be done, AND still be present in the moment and give the kids my attention, AND have time to spend with them, AND work a part-time job, AND have time for my husband (who doesn't have any time at all, poor guy), AND try to fit in taking care of myself and doing things just for me too. It is ALL important, it is ALL neccesary. So how do you find balance?

THAT is what I am trying to do. Trying to be a better mother, trying to put my family first, trying to have priorities, trying to find balance, trying to be present in the moment, trying to enjoy my kids each and every day instead of being so busy I barely "see" them. I don't want my family to just be background noise as I bustle from chore to chore, activity to activity.

BUT how one accomplishes this......THAT is the question.