off with a thud.....

So my diet isn't off with a bang, but off with a thud, lol. It's like I nosedived, I was so pumped and motivated and ready to fight temptation, and then 2 days into it Iwant to be done! So sad. I think it's this snow storm and being cooped up in the house, but then again who knows, maybe that's just an excuse. One week down though, and I only stuck to it without any cheating for 2 of the 5 days I've been on the 500 calorie part! But I've still lost 6 1/2 lbs, so I can't complain. I mean 6 1/2 lbs in a week is great. It's just hard sticking to it!

The diet consists of 2 meal a day; 4 ozs of meat at each meal, either 1/2 or 1 cup of one type of veggie depending on the veggie, your choice of half a grapefruit, an apple, an orange or a handful of strawberries, an a peice of melba toast. I can drink all the tea, water and coffee that I want, but no sugar. I can have 1 tbs of milk per day. So I have like a dozen different flavored hot teas, which I drink when I want food. After the first week, when the HCG gets into my system good, I'm not even hungry, and I sometimes can't even eat all of the stuff in one meal, but the first week, is so hard. So if I can just tough it out a few days longer, I think I will be ok. But now I am just trying to talk myself into doing it one month, lol, when the original plan was for 40 days and then another round of 40 days. Maybe I can still make it through that, we shall see.

I go back and forth between really wanting to stick with it and lose weight and be healthy, to not caring aqnd wanting to stuff my face. It's like a war inside of my own head, lol. Today the healthy me is winning. Yesterday when I made cookies, the unhealthy me won. Day by day, I guess I can just take it day by day. I really need to learn not to tempt myself though. I thought that hey, no big deal, I can make cookies and not eat them.... yeah right. I made an apple pie a couple of days ago and thought, no big deal, I don't even really like apple pie all that much, but no, i still ate a piece. Sigh. I am planning meals for my family that are not very enticing to me in hopes to stick to it more. Like fried chicken (alan's favorite, me not so much) and tonight it was fried catfish. Now if I can just stop baking.....

But on the good days, I can lose up to 3 lbs in a day, which is so motivating to stick to it, because I can say "Hey, that food will be there in 40 days when I am done, you can still have it at a later time." and "I can lose soo much weight so quickly if I just stick with it, nothing tastes as good as being thin feels!"

Since HCG is a hormone, I always get a bit moody when I take it, I assume because it is a pregnancy hormone, lol. But I tend to find myself angry, or sad and not sure why. Maybe it's just because I want food and I can't have it, lol.

But I really do want to lose this weight. I might never be skinny, but I can be much thinner and healthier than I am. And if I can at least jumpstart it with the HCG, and then learn how to eat healthier all the time and keep it off, that would be idea. Blah, why does the whole world seem to revolve around food?!?!

snow days....

We love snow days! We have been playing board games, reading books, I've been making sock monkeys, and more.......



lots of staying in our PJ's for half the day, lots of playing on the computer....





lots of video games.....





lots of snuggling up with blankets and watching movies....





lots of coloring......






lots of legos.....






And of course snow days are perfect for baking! Which of course makes it hard to diet, lol, but I'm not doing too bad. :)


I love making pies from scratch, there is something so nostalgic and wholesome and all-american about baking pies from scratch. :)









And of course playing in the snow....

For the birds....

Our birdfeeder was all frozen, and we wanted to make sure the birds could find food in this crazy weather.





So we made a little bird buffet for them, but of course like 20 minutes later it was covered in snow



My friend Liz posted a blog about making bird feeders out of pinecones covered in peanutbutter and dipped in birdseed, which reminded me of other fun birdfeeders you can make as well!

So we decided to make some bird feeders to hang in the trees. You take birdseed and mix it with a few tablespoons of water and a couple tablespoons of flour. It doesn't need to be real runny, just sticky.




get some cookie cutters and spray them with some cooking spray



Put the birdseed mixture into the cookie cutters

Then you take a straw and cut them up and put it in the top of them to make a hole for the string to tie them up in the tree.





They are all dry and ready to go outside.
















Starla puts one on a bush





Stewie & Bourbon climb the tree to put a couple of them up



So now at least the birds can find some food!

Every journey starts with the first step....

So although it is day 3 on the diet, it's really the first day, since the first 2 days are gorge days, eat as much fatty food as you can. I managed to gain 3 lbs during the course of my 2 gorge days, lol. But the diet says you must do this to be successful on the diet, so I see it as a necessary step in the process.

Alan says I should make a video diary of my 40 days, and he sees this comical production, of days where I look like I am about to pass out from lack of food, to days where I have powdered sugar all on my mouth as I admit to cheating, lol. He wants to be a screenwrite some day, I told him to go ahead and save that material for his screenplay someday. Instead I figure I will blog about my diet adventures.

So today, was the first 500 calorie day of this go round. I had coffee for breakfast, lettuce wraps with ground turkey, a piece of melba toast and an apple for lunch with diet green tea. I had a smoothie made with half an orange and 5 frozen strawberries for snack, and then shrimp & tomatoes in balsamic vinegar with a piece of melba toast for dinner. For my evening "snack" I have had 2 cups of vanilla caramel lipton hot tea. Sugar and calorie free, but yummy all the same. And I have been hungry for a good part of the day, but I keep reminding myself that it will get better, and that I am strong enough to endure. I don't realize how much I think about food in the course of a day until I pay close attention, and I don't know why. It's not always hunger, it's just habit.

I went to the gym this morning. I did 25 mins on the eliptical, 15 mins on the treadmill, 10 mins on the bike, and then 20 minutes on the different weight machines. I always feel so good, mentally and physically when I go to the gym. So I am really motivated and determined to stick to my 3 day a week workout, and mixing it up here and there to make sure I don't get bored, and that I work different muscles each time. I'm hoping that the snow/ice storm tomorrow doesn't make me miss the gym friday, but I suppose I can work out at home, it's just easier to go to the gym.

One day at a time. I can do this. One day at a time.

enjoy the day

With the upcoming ice/snow storm on it's way, we wanted to take advantage of the chance ot get out of the house and have some fun. So we met some friends out at the omniplex (yes I am fully aware that they changed their name to The Science Museum, but it will always be the omniplex to me). It was lots of fun!




















we wanted to take advantage of the warm day as well, so we went to the park after we picked up Roman for school, while we waited to go pick Bourbon up from Volleyball practice.







I just hope that the storm proves to be snow, not ice. I don't want to be without electricity!!!

Blah

I'm not ready for the upcoming ice storm. I'm hoping it's just snow, no big deal, but ice sucks. Ice causes electrical problems. It may have been 2 years ago, but the 10 days we were without eletricity during the last big ice storm is still fresh in my mind. I don't want that to happen again. But who knows, the weathermen sometimes make things out to be bigger deals than they actually are. We shall see.

Tomorrow starts my 500 calorie diet once again. My goal is to make it 40 days, and lose 30 lbs. I am armed with a stack of yummy recipes designed for the HCG diet, in hopes that I can stick to it with a little variety. Last time I was on it, I got so tired of eating the same meals day in and day out. And this time the goal is not just to lose it, I've proved to myself that I can do that, over and over again,the goal is to keep it off this time. So I am going to do a 40 day round now until March, and then ake a couple weeks off, and then do another 40 day round until summer, with the goal of losing 60 lbs and then keeping it off. I am so frustrated at myself for gaining 16 lbs since coming off of my last round before thanksgiving. But at the same time, I know getting down on myself doesn't help anything, it's already done, all I can do now is lose it once again. And it's all mind over matter really. All of my cravings and comfort foods are all due to feelings rather than hunger. I'm an emotional eater, and the thought of the food is so much better than the actual food. Nothing ever tastes as good as I imagine it to, so I just have to tell myself that nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. Mind over matter. I can do it. So I will be off at the gym in the morning, pushing myself and trying to put this body back into shape. I worked out monday, 20 mins on the eliptical, 20 mins on the bike and then 30 mins doing the different weight machines. And tomorrow I will probably do the same, and day by day I will get there.

I'm so frustrated that I never have the time to get things done that I want to get done. My house is still a mess, I need to clean Starla's room, I need to clean my room, I need to find the utility room, and sit down and figure out a new budget, and I want time to write my novel and all those things that I just want to do. Why is it that I am now out of school and not working, and yet I still am so busy I can't get anything done? Granted, taking care of 3 kids and trying to maintain a household are a lot of work. I can't seem to remember anything these day. I completely forgot about Roman's violin lesson tonight, just spaced it until Alan mentioned it after the class would have been over. I don't understand how I used to be so on top of these things, and now I can't keep track of any of it, and it is driving me nuts. I swear it was that third kid that put me over the edge, lol, I can't keep up with it all, I can't keep it all straight in my head. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed I guess, but I know "this too shall pass".

I'm not a complainer, I don't like to complain because my life is so blessed that it seems crazy to complain about it. I might be crazy busy, and crazy overwhelmed with a family of 5 to take care of, but I am so thankful and lucky to have that family, I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Monkey Cakes

As I'm sure most people do, I have all of these day dreams about things I'd like to do someday, and one I've been thinking about a lot lately is opening a little cupcake and sock monkey store (2 of my favorite things to make!). I'd call it something silly like Monkey Cakes. It would be decorated all whimsical and eccentric, like the mad hatter meets willy wonka. :) We'd have fun and delicious cupcakes (and probably other baked goods as well, but cupcakes would be our primary selling point!).

















And cute sock monkeys and creatures of all shapes and colors!!








Then of course, since it is just a day dream and I don't really have to think about how much money and time it would cost to pull it off, we would have a little side area of the shop that did birthday parties, so I could throw in my love for party planning in as well, and then on the other side we could open up a little tea house, for fun tea parties and lunch!

And of course, our gift shop would allow all my crafty friends to put their stuff in there and sell it!

Isn't it fun to dream.......

Make new friends, but keep the old.....

One is silver and the other gold! (was anyone else a girl scout, lol?) I was thinking about it the other day, and I have friends that have been around for over half my life, which is amazing really when you think about it. I have amazing and wonderful newer friends that I have met along the way, but somehow I have a few that have just stuck in there though it all, that we have never lost touch with. There are a few that sneak in and out, and a few that just recently came back in contact though facebook (gotta love facebook and myspace, I call it a class reunion, but for life! I love finding old friends!) but it just is noce to know that there are people in my life that know me so well that I don't have to explain anything, they've been there right along with me.



Jamie is like the godfather of all my best friends, she is THE best friend. :) We have been friends since 1992 (um, not counting that year we didn't like eachother, hee hee) she is now more like a sister than a friend. Except for that silly year when we were like 15 and didn't talk, we have probably talked on the phone every single day since we've met. We still don't go a single day if we can help it without at least saying hello. And although as we grew up, we have so little in common now that I jokingly say if we met each other today instead of all those years ago, we probably wouldn't become friends! Lol. We are sometime polar opposites, but somehow none of that matters. She is an amazing friend, and I am lucky to have her in my life.






















Michael! I have known Michael since 1996, and he's like one of those steadys in my life, that even if a year or two passes with just a few words exchanged here or there, when we get together it's like we've never been apart. There's never that awkward "I haven't talked to you in ages, what in the world do we have to talk about" kind of moments, we just jump in there and pick up like we've never left off. We don't get to hang out much, but him and his boyfriend Quinn come over for dinner here and there and hang out, which is nice. I love them. :)

New Years 1997

















And then there's the pics of us 3 together!

Ah, poor Michael, and this pic was taken YEARS before he came out, lol. I think part of us always knew....... :)









Missy! Melissa & I have been friends (give or take that year or so that we disliked eachother, lol....) since the summer of 1993. We have been through so much together, I can't even imagine my life without her. We practically grew up together, at least growing up from immature teenagers into the wonderful mommies that we are today. :) She is such a unique, strong, loyal person and I am so glad she is my friend.














Today! :)





Brennon! He recently found me once again on facebook after I guess about a year. We find each other every few years or so and then lose contact again, then find each other once again. He was my buddy for many years though, and I had so much fun with him. I just came across some home videos of us at the Karaoke bar singing "I like big butts" (yes Sir mix-a-lot!) together back in 2000, lol. If I ever get them transferred to DVD I will so post those too, lol. He is so funny, he makes me laugh. Both of these pics I think were in 1999, but I've known him since 1996.








And this is Tashana, she found me recently after like 10+ years on facebook and tagged me in this picture, which of course cracked me up. I'm pretty sure this was in 1992. She unfortunately wasn't in my life long, she moved away rather quickly, but she made a lasting impact all the same. :)



I'm so lucky to have such amazing friends who have stuck by me for all of these years!