Dealing with death

I knew Roman would take his great-papa's death hard. This is the kid that cried when I read him "Charlotte's Web". He is sensitive. So it was no surprise the he cried and cried and cried some more throughout the whole process of dealing with Grandpa's death, from the news, to the viewing of the body at the funeral home, to the funeral. I didn't tell the boys until we got home from Flint Ridge, I didn't want to ruin their fun time, or make them have grandpa's death forever linked in their minds to Flint Ridge, making it a sad place to be. So when we got home friday night, I put Starla to bed and then told the boys. Roman cried and cried and cried. Bourbons eyes teared up, but he played it off "I think I got something in my eye mom", and that was the end of his diplay of sadness. I think he's alot like me in that regards, I like to mourn and be sad by myself, I don't like to share that with other people, I think it is a personal and private thing. I just want people to leave me alone when I'm sad, I know people mean well when they offer themselves up as support, asking how you are, giving hugs, etc. But that is just not my thing when I am sad, I like to deal with it on my own. I see alot of that in Bourbon too. I really thought Starla would be the easiest to beak it to, she's 3, how much can she really understand? So the next morning, I told her. And she surprised me, she immediately teared up and stated crying, and kept crying for about 10 minutes, saying how she didn't want great papa to be dead, she wanted to talk to him and for him to talk back to her. It surprised and upset me that she comprehended it. So we sat and cried together for a while. She did better at the funeral home, the day before the funeral, I was leary about letting her see the body, but I figured she was going to go to funeral so she would see him there anyways, so I might as well. This was Roman's 1st experience with seeing a dead person in a coffin as well, and he of course was a mess. Bourbon's uncle passed away 6 years ago, and he saw him in the coffin, but I'm not sure how much of it he remembers, but this was not his first experience with death. He did ok, I'm not sure how he took it on the inside, but on the outside he was cool, calm and collected. Starla kept saying things like "His life is in heaven, but his body is here." She still had a few days where she would tear up, and her little face would just crumple and she would say "I miss great papa, I want him to talk to me", which of course broke my hear, because I of course want the same thing. She was pretty well-behaved during the funeral, which I was so thankful for, I didn't want her disrupting, but I didn't want to have to take her out and leave either. Roman cried and cried and cried during the funeral, Starla actually kept hugging him and trying to console him during it, it was very sweet and cute. She would say "When you die, you will see him in heaven". She fell asleep on the way to the cemetary,so Jamie stayed in the car with her during that part, and later when she woke up and we were home, she was VERY upset that she had missed it. I had explained that we were going to bury him at the cemetary, so when she didn't get to do that, it just messed her all up. She cried, "But I wanted to bury great papa! You said we would bury great papa! I had to explain that we already did, but she was alseep. I will have to take her out there sometime soon so she can see it. He was buried in the Little Cemetary, in Little Oklahoma, which of course makes me smile since that's my last name. I'm sad that she probably won't have any real memories of him, and that he won't be a big part of her life. I hope that the boys keep good memories of him. I hope that they learn from Papa how to work on cars and tinker and build things, so that Grandpa Reynold's legacy will live on through them.