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I'm not ready for the upcoming ice storm. I'm hoping it's just snow, no big deal, but ice sucks. Ice causes electrical problems. It may have been 2 years ago, but the 10 days we were without eletricity during the last big ice storm is still fresh in my mind. I don't want that to happen again. But who knows, the weathermen sometimes make things out to be bigger deals than they actually are. We shall see.

Tomorrow starts my 500 calorie diet once again. My goal is to make it 40 days, and lose 30 lbs. I am armed with a stack of yummy recipes designed for the HCG diet, in hopes that I can stick to it with a little variety. Last time I was on it, I got so tired of eating the same meals day in and day out. And this time the goal is not just to lose it, I've proved to myself that I can do that, over and over again,the goal is to keep it off this time. So I am going to do a 40 day round now until March, and then ake a couple weeks off, and then do another 40 day round until summer, with the goal of losing 60 lbs and then keeping it off. I am so frustrated at myself for gaining 16 lbs since coming off of my last round before thanksgiving. But at the same time, I know getting down on myself doesn't help anything, it's already done, all I can do now is lose it once again. And it's all mind over matter really. All of my cravings and comfort foods are all due to feelings rather than hunger. I'm an emotional eater, and the thought of the food is so much better than the actual food. Nothing ever tastes as good as I imagine it to, so I just have to tell myself that nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. Mind over matter. I can do it. So I will be off at the gym in the morning, pushing myself and trying to put this body back into shape. I worked out monday, 20 mins on the eliptical, 20 mins on the bike and then 30 mins doing the different weight machines. And tomorrow I will probably do the same, and day by day I will get there.

I'm so frustrated that I never have the time to get things done that I want to get done. My house is still a mess, I need to clean Starla's room, I need to clean my room, I need to find the utility room, and sit down and figure out a new budget, and I want time to write my novel and all those things that I just want to do. Why is it that I am now out of school and not working, and yet I still am so busy I can't get anything done? Granted, taking care of 3 kids and trying to maintain a household are a lot of work. I can't seem to remember anything these day. I completely forgot about Roman's violin lesson tonight, just spaced it until Alan mentioned it after the class would have been over. I don't understand how I used to be so on top of these things, and now I can't keep track of any of it, and it is driving me nuts. I swear it was that third kid that put me over the edge, lol, I can't keep up with it all, I can't keep it all straight in my head. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed I guess, but I know "this too shall pass".

I'm not a complainer, I don't like to complain because my life is so blessed that it seems crazy to complain about it. I might be crazy busy, and crazy overwhelmed with a family of 5 to take care of, but I am so thankful and lucky to have that family, I wouldn't trade that for anything.