off with a thud.....

So my diet isn't off with a bang, but off with a thud, lol. It's like I nosedived, I was so pumped and motivated and ready to fight temptation, and then 2 days into it Iwant to be done! So sad. I think it's this snow storm and being cooped up in the house, but then again who knows, maybe that's just an excuse. One week down though, and I only stuck to it without any cheating for 2 of the 5 days I've been on the 500 calorie part! But I've still lost 6 1/2 lbs, so I can't complain. I mean 6 1/2 lbs in a week is great. It's just hard sticking to it!

The diet consists of 2 meal a day; 4 ozs of meat at each meal, either 1/2 or 1 cup of one type of veggie depending on the veggie, your choice of half a grapefruit, an apple, an orange or a handful of strawberries, an a peice of melba toast. I can drink all the tea, water and coffee that I want, but no sugar. I can have 1 tbs of milk per day. So I have like a dozen different flavored hot teas, which I drink when I want food. After the first week, when the HCG gets into my system good, I'm not even hungry, and I sometimes can't even eat all of the stuff in one meal, but the first week, is so hard. So if I can just tough it out a few days longer, I think I will be ok. But now I am just trying to talk myself into doing it one month, lol, when the original plan was for 40 days and then another round of 40 days. Maybe I can still make it through that, we shall see.

I go back and forth between really wanting to stick with it and lose weight and be healthy, to not caring aqnd wanting to stuff my face. It's like a war inside of my own head, lol. Today the healthy me is winning. Yesterday when I made cookies, the unhealthy me won. Day by day, I guess I can just take it day by day. I really need to learn not to tempt myself though. I thought that hey, no big deal, I can make cookies and not eat them.... yeah right. I made an apple pie a couple of days ago and thought, no big deal, I don't even really like apple pie all that much, but no, i still ate a piece. Sigh. I am planning meals for my family that are not very enticing to me in hopes to stick to it more. Like fried chicken (alan's favorite, me not so much) and tonight it was fried catfish. Now if I can just stop baking.....

But on the good days, I can lose up to 3 lbs in a day, which is so motivating to stick to it, because I can say "Hey, that food will be there in 40 days when I am done, you can still have it at a later time." and "I can lose soo much weight so quickly if I just stick with it, nothing tastes as good as being thin feels!"

Since HCG is a hormone, I always get a bit moody when I take it, I assume because it is a pregnancy hormone, lol. But I tend to find myself angry, or sad and not sure why. Maybe it's just because I want food and I can't have it, lol.

But I really do want to lose this weight. I might never be skinny, but I can be much thinner and healthier than I am. And if I can at least jumpstart it with the HCG, and then learn how to eat healthier all the time and keep it off, that would be idea. Blah, why does the whole world seem to revolve around food?!?!