Day 4

Thursday, May 28, 2009
Day 4
Current mood: moody
So today was my 2nd 500 calorie day, and it's no fun. In theory it gets better, but we'll see.... I ordered phentermine to go along with the HCG drops, but it hasn't gotten here yet, and I didn't want to wait to start the diet, but maybe I should have waited! Phentermine is an appetite supressant.

I love food. I love cooking it, celebrating with it, sitting around and having a family dinner..... I love all aspects of food. Which is probably why I am overweight to begin with. I'm an emotional eater, but not just when I'm sad or upset; I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm mad, lol. I eat for all reasons. Did I mention that I love food? Sigh. And i know at least half of it is pyschological. The first 2 'gorge' days, where I was supposed to eat as much fatty foods as possible, it was to the point where I didn't even want to look at food, nothing sounded good, I didn't want anything. Fast forward to the next day when I only get 500 calories, and suddenly I want EVERYTHING! And I have very little self-control. So this will be interesting. I keep telling myself "It's only 40 days, you can do anything for 40 days, you can eat whatever you want later....."

see the HCG drops that I am taking, tell your brain to use your stored fat as a food source, not muscles or neccesary fat, but stored fat that you don't need. And in theory your bosy call pull anywhere from 1500-4000 calories just from your stored fat in one day to use as an energy supply. So when I eat an additional 500 calories, I'm really getting at least 2000, so my body isn't starving. But my stomach isn't used to not being filled, so it thinks I'm hungry!! And in the process I burn up my stored fat, at approx. a pound a day. In theory the HCG is supposed to eventually make me feel like I'm not hungry, once it fully gets into my system. I sure hope thats the case, because I am hungry. I did lose one full pound, not an ounce more, not an ounce less from yesterday morning to this morning. So maybe it will work. We shall see. You have to be on it for a tleast 20 days, and the max is 40 days. I'm going for the gold, if I make it..... also in theory this "fixes" your metabolism, and as long as you don't go crazy and eat everything in site, this is supposed to be a "cure" and you won't have to keep doing it once you reach your goal weight. But again, all of this is in theory. I've tried just about every diet out there, so of course I'm skeptical. Not skeptical enough not to try it obviously.

So what does a 500 calorie day look like you ask? Yesterday it was:
Breakfast: 1 cup of coffee w/ 1 tbs milk & sweet & low
Lunch: 4 oz shrimp, cooked with 2 cups of spinach & garlic, a piece of melba toast (basically a cracker) and a handful of strwberries
Dinner: a 4 oz hamburger pattie cooked with 1 cup of vadalia onions, a piece of melba toast and an apple

today it was:
Breakfast: 1 cup of coffee w/ 1 tbs milk & sweet & low
Lunch: 4 oz of tuna with 2 cups of cucumbers, a piece of melba toast and an orange
Dinner: 4 ozs of baked chicken with 2 cups of asparagus, a piece of melba toast and an apple.

I pretty much get my choice of 4 oz of any meat, anywhere from 1 to 2 cups of certain veggies (depending on the veggie) , a piece of melba toast, and my choice out of an apple, orange, strawberries or a grapefruit for 2 meals in a day. I get all that I want of tea, coffee and water, but no sugar. I can use 1 tbs of milk a day, and I can use almost all spices.

And of course all I want is the homemade beer bread sitting on my kitchen counter, and the ice cream in my freezer (of which I watched my thin husband consume 2 big mugs of this afternoon, sometimes I wish we could trade metabolisms), the popcorn I just made Starla, or a big tall glass of milk with oreos.......sigh. But of course all of those things are what got me in this mess to begin with.

I think I can, I think I can.......
Currently reading:
Fractured Mind, A: My Life with Multiple PersonaIity Disorder
By Robert B. Oxnam
Release date: 2006-10-11