sweet night air......

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

sweet night air.....

Current mood: relaxed

There is something so calming and relaxing about sitting outside at night, especially during or after the rain. Maybe that's why I like all of the rain of late. Just about every night, after everyone is in bed, I slip outside on the porch and sit for about 5-10 minutes and enjoy. We live on a relatively 'dead' street, so there's never a soul out there. Just the sound of the raindrops dripping, the wind in the leaves, the bugs. Now of course with the rain clouds, there isn't any stars in sight, but I know that summer is just around the corner and the stars will be out then, so I can wait to see thier bright twinkles. But it gives me a moment to reflect, and to think about life and my place in it. I think that as a whole, we don't do that enough. To not think about our to-do lists, or upcoming plans, or what needs to be done, but to just think about life and ponder about things that we don't think enough about. It's nice. I enjoy it immensely.

I've never been a smoker. I hate the smell and the taste of cigarettes. I can handle menthols, but usually only when I am drinking; I think the alcohol deadens some of my taste buds or something . I understand the health risks involved, and I don't understand why people choose to put their lives at risk for something so trivial. But cloves, that's a whole different story. I love cloves. I love the way they taste, I love the way they smell. And since I'm not a smoker, when I smoke a clove, I get a "high" of sorts, this calming, relaxing, peaceful euphoric feeling. I don't smoke them often, usually just when I go out and about and am drinking. I would never smoke in front of my kids because I truely believe that you should model what you expect from them; I hate the "do as I say, not as I do" theory of raising children. It just doesn't work. (not that I think lying about smoking works either, which I guess in essence is what I do since I omit the truth about smoking cloves to my kids) So a pack of cloves might last me 6 months or more, and I probaly buy them once a year. But knowing that this rain was coming, I went out and bought a pack last week, and when I take my nightly visits to the porch, I smoke a clove. And lately, I have a drink with it, which is also something I rarely do. Tonight it is HoneyMoon Summer ale, by the BlueMoon beer company. I'm not a big beer fan, but I love all of the different beers that Bluemoon puts out. They always have a seasonal beer. It was pumpkin beer in the fall, and it was yummy.

I don't know what it is that I enjoy so much about it; but I love sitting on the porch by myself smoking a clove, having a drink, reflecting about life. It's been my nightly escape for about a week now, a time for just me, about just me. I'm not tending to anyone else's needs. I'm not sure how much longer it will last, or if I will decide it needs to stay a nightly thing (except, without smoking every single night, I'm afraid to indulge too much in them, again the health risks aren't really worth it). But it's been really nice. I really think, that as busy and crazy as my life gets, that I really needed it. I needed an escape.